these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
