I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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