new low.... made out with someone while peeing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
