apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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