im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize