I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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