never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
