u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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