Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
