i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
