You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
