3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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