Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I have post one night stand depression
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
