I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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