Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
