Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
