How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize