Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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