Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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