I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
