so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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