I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
