Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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