super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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