I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
