I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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