Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
