wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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