Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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