Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize