I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
