She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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