I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
