Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
