in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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