are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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