i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
