I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
P.S. I can't hear my feet
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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