AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
