oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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