Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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