i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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