Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
