I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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