I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
