Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
