:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
