My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Never joke about your clitoris.
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