Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
