i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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