that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
