I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
