Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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