She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
