Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
