Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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