do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
