Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
