so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
